Missionaries are often expected to write nothing but inspiring reports of successful projects and uplifting accounts of God’s blessings. But our reality is very different. The enemy focuses on those who make it their lives’ purpose to turn people toward God. Plus, God often calls those who are not the strongest, the best equipped, the most promising to succeed. Our obvious weakness makes His power shine through even stronger.
We have only a few days left before leaving for a long mission trip with a demanding schedule. Still, there are many things that need to be taken care of. In the morning I made my TO DO list for the day and was working on the tasks one after the other. When I needed to look up a connection on my FaceBook, the app put a Memory in front of my eyes. Reading my sweet baby’s post from a couple of years ago starting with the word “Mom” made me hear her sweet voice calling me that. “Mom”. … That was all I needed for my day to get derailed. How I wish to hear her one more time calling me Mom! Missing her hurts so much like a part of me was torn out. Since she passed, I live with an invisible, but huge, nonhealing wound. … Will it ever get better? Will this pain ever go away? … Sometimes even the promise of Heaven doesn’t make it easier in the here and now.
Please forgive me for sharing a moment that is less than glorious.
Janice.strength June 7, 2022
Oh Agnes, This is so normal. Kids are not supposed to die before their parents. The disorder of makes the grieving the more painful. May God’s Spirit comfort your heart.
LoveEurope June 7, 2022
Thank you, Janice. His Word and His Spirit – the only sources of true comfort.