Change is often scary and most of us only agree to it if we absolutely need to. When we started to see that the Lord was closing the door on our ministry in the barrios, our natural reaction was resistance and doubt. “Are we getting this right? … After blessing our mission so wonderfully by bringing us so many kids eager to hear our DAILY bible studies and showing such growth in their character, why would He all of a sudden allow the enemy to win our battles? … He knows that our hearts are committed to serving Him in ministry. If not this, then WHAT does He want us to do? … Our original call into missions was to build His Kingdom in Hungary. He kept growing the fire in our hearts for it … but … HOW could we do that now?” It seemed to be impossible.
Csaba and I, we both have the nature of not wanting to leave anything unfinished. Not getting clear answers to the above questions, (… or perhaps not wanting to hear His answers), we still kept pushing our increasingly rusty wheelbarrow uphill. Since we questioned our vision for our ongoing ministry, we completely abandoned support-raising and found ourselves with dwindling funds. While praying for guidance, direction and provision from the Lord, we took matters into our own hands. Csaba started a hard, physical job early mornings so he could still continue serving the kids in the afternoons in one of the barrios. He again was burning the candle on both ends and knew that he wasn’t doing the Lord’s will. I took a full-time job that paid really well but ended up being my life’s most horrible experience that literally put me out of commission. I spent a few months recovering from a serious health problem as we continued praying for direction, pleading with God for His wisdom. He gave clear, detailed instructions to so many before us about what to do and how. We desperately needed His answer.
Then it came. Like it has always been clear to us both, it was there outshining everything else in our minds. Our original call: to take on the deep spiritual darkness we have seen every time we were on short term missions in Hungary, the dark, ever thickening clouds of evil that was covering all of Europe. Almost like instructions to Noah, all of a sudden, we had detailed plans how to reach masses of people for Christ first in Hungary then as He leads in other countries of Europe. Our WHAT and HOW was finally answered! The time of our real deployment arrived.
We always felt that our first assignment in the barrios was kind of a “missionary bootcamp”. The Lord had to put us through many lessons:
– We had to learn to recognize and fend off the attacks of the enemy – the ones that hit us straight in the face and also the ones that came disguised as heartfelt advice from friends. The ones that were so painful and obvious like a knife being turned in our hearts, and the ones that presented themselves as great opportunities to do something other than ministry. And even the ones that appeared as whispers in our own voice in our head.
– When the task looked impossible, we had to learn not to give up in fear that our own strength and abilities won’t be enough, but to know that His power will handle it no matter what.
– One of the lessons He had to put us through several times before we got it was that we will never be true missionaries unless we learned to trust Him for provisions. Taking matters into our own hands, trusting paychecks and bank accounts for our security is a very natural human need, but it is not His way for His workers. This is probably the hardest one for missionaries because the bills keep coming but we often see no “paycheck”. And the enemy is always right there to say: “It will never work! How long can you live without health insurance, or not knowing if your bills are covered? Give up the ministry and just get a job!”
But we learned our lesson. We know that the Lord wants us to trust that HE will provide, even if we don’t know how. He WILL provide through those who love Him and who live for building His Kingdom. If that is you already, we want you to know that you will be reaching masses of people with us for Christ. If you aren’t a part of our team yet, then please look at our Vision Tree listing our efforts and pray if the Holy Spirit wants you to become a part of this mission.
May the Lord bless you with His loving kindness in the upcoming year!
